The Attack of The Chibis
by Ophir
Summary: Chapter 1-2 Now Posted! The chibis have come and gone, but now... There is one left. The one chibi army. Against tons of adults. I think the chibi'll win.
1. The Attack of The Chibis

Yet another story to torture poor Rei and Liei ... A friend and I had a conversation that led me to write this evil story... Well, the summary is pretty much this: Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Keiko, Yukina, Botan, Kurama and Youko (I made them separate people in this) all get turned into 2 year olds! Rei and Liei end up having to take care of the "lil devils" as Rei puts it. And she worked so hard at sorting those cd's too...  
  
The Attack of the Chibis  
  
by lieiavalon2044  
  
"Rei! Where'd the boys go?" Liei called from upstairs in their newly bought house. (Well, they actually bought it a year ago, but they moved in a last week... I guess there were demons to catch... Idiots to silence... Marriage proposals to turn down)  
  
Rei, downstairs sorting CD's by title and release date, looked up towards the balcony where Liei was staring expectantly down at her.  
  
"They went outside! Youko and Kurama wanted to see your roses and the trees they helped with last year. Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei were about to get in a huge fight, and their cheerleaders had to go with them." Rei shouted up to Liei.  
  
Liei sighed before jumping down the stairs three at a time and running out the open front door. Rei looked over the living room, happy with the carpet, walls and ceiling, saying they were all dark colored as she wanted.  
  
The carpet was midnight blue, the walls were a slightly lighter shade of blue and Liei had won over the curtains, saying they were a sort of baby blue. The couch was black, and the wooden tables were stained various medium shades. The rest of the house seemed to get lighter, with the exception of Rei's room that had black walls with red flames near the bottom and top.  
  
Rei stood up suddenly, angrily, and she marched to the door.  
  
"Liei! What's taking so long?!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Ummm... Rei ... You may want to come and see this....."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei stood in horror at the scene that lay before her. It would have been scary enough if just one of them had changed, but no. All of them had to change. Including Hiei, who was sitting quietly on the cobblestone pathway, gazing up at her with large, innocent, blood red eyes. (Ok, someone explain how 'blood red' eyes can be innocent...)  
  
"He's.... he...."  
  
"A chibi? Yes. So are the others..." Liei replied calmly as she picked up a chibi Kurama and Youko and cuddled them into her chest. "They're so cute, aren't they?"  
  
"Liei, they still have their old minds you know. And you're hugging them into your CHEST when you know they have their minds? In case you don't remember, Youko could be quite the pervert when he wanted to, and didn't Kurama want you to marry him really badly?" Rei questioned as she picked up the Chibi Hiei who eagerly sat himself on her shoulder.  
  
Liei glanced over at Rei with an amused expression. She then perched Chibi Kurama and Chibi Youko on her shoulders before replying, "Rei, they don't have their older minds anymore. If they did, Hiei would have chopped your hand off with his katana as you tried to pick him up."  
  
Rei heard a rustling in the bushes and chibi Botan toddled out, holding her mini oar over her shoulder. Soon after, chibi Yukina emerged from a flower bush giggling happily at Kuwabara and Yusuke, who were trying to find a way to walk through the many rose bushes. Then Rei felt a light tug on her hair. She glanced to the side slightly and saw Hiei pulling on her ponytail. She reached back to untangle his fingers from her thick brown hair when he giggled childishly and yanked down hard.  
  
Liei watched in amusement as Rei's eyes widened and she whirled, throwing Hiei off her shoulder. Liei turned to ignore the scene of Rei chasing a crying little Hiei down the path before she walked away, plugging Youko and Kurama's young ears to protect their minds from such horrible language.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Youko teetered over the light blue carpet before Liei's hands steadied him and then he walked over to a large pile of white and silver pillows in the corner, where Kurama was curled up, sucking his thumb in his sleep. Youko crawled up onto another pillow before burrowing into the silk blankets that Liei had put over the cushy pillows. Liei came in three seconds later, carrying Yukina, Keiko, Kuwabara and Yusuke in her arms and deposited them on the floor.  
  
"Now, all of you behave and take your afternoon nap now, ok? I'm going to get Hiei, and after you guys wake up I'll let you all play outside. If you're good!" Liei added before she turned and went out the door, coming back when she forgot to close it behind herself.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"DIE! NOBODY PULLS MY HAIR THEN STEALS MY HOT CHOCOLATE AND LIVES TO BRAG ABOUT IT!" Rei shrieked at the retreating back of chibi Hiei, who was sobbing as he blindly ran around the corner into Liei's expectant arms. Rei slid on the section of tile and ended up slamming into a wall. She looked at Liei and cringed away from the look of death being shot in her direction.  
  
"Rei! I don't believe you'd chase poor innocent Hiei like that! He's just a little kid for goodness sake!" Liei said angrily. She turned and walked away, holding Hiei over her shoulder.  
  
"Now he's going to take an afternoon nap in my room with all the others. And just because you may think they're all little devils doesn't mean you can go in there and disturb them! So don't you dare wake any of them up!" Liei yelled over her shoulder. Hiei looked back at Rei with a smirk on his face and then stuck his tongue out. Liei climbed up the stairs, leaving Rei to herself as steam rose with small hisses from her head as Hiei taunted her from Liei's warm shoulder.  
  
Liei opened her bedroom door and it gave a small squeak. She glanced in and smiled happily. Youko was curled into a tight ball on top of his pillow with his fuzzy tail brushing the tip of his nose. Kurama was laying on his stomach with the side of his face pressed into the soft pillow. He had a thumb in his mouth and he was snoring slightly. The only visible half of Yusuke was his legs, which were sticking out from under the bed. Liei could only guess that his pillow was probably a dust bunny.  
  
Kuwabara was sprawled out in the middle of the room on his back with drool coming from a corner of his wide open mouth. Yukina was curled up on the bed next to a stuffed animal, and Keiko was curled up under a blanket which made her look like a strange blue blob. Liei set Hiei down on a black and red pillow she'd snatched from Rei's room and turned to leave.  
  
Chibi Hiei let out a small sniffle. Liei turned to see him rubbing tears away from the corners of his eyes with his tiny hands. She turned and knelt next to him before brushing away a tear on his cheek.  
  
"What's wrong Hiei?" she asked in a sweet voice.  
  
"Rei took my katana!" he yelled in an adorable baby voice between sniffles.  
  
Liei smiled and got up. She walked to her closet and opened a door before pulling out her sheathed katana. She closed the door and walked over to the sobbing Hiei before she knelt down and put her sword lightly in his lap. He looked down and his eyes widened with glee. He jumped up and latched onto Liei's neck in a hug. He dropped down on the pillow and hugged the sword in his arms.  
  
"Thank you lady! You nice to give me you sword!" he said with a huge grin on his face.  
  
Liei nodded and whispered, "Now if you're good, I'll let you keep my sword with you whenever you want, ok?"  
  
"But what do I do to be-"  
  
"All you have to do is be quiet and don't disturb the others. Now, night Hiei!" Liei called softly from the door before she softly closed it. Hiei yawned and hugging the sword (which was nearly two times bigger than him) like a teddy bear, he stuck a thumb in his mouth and drifted off to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei stared into the lawn ahead of her, taking in the roses, trees and bushes that had been creatively positioned and planted in the enormous front lawn. She closed her eyes, not used to the silence that surrounded a house far away from the city.  
  
One of the reasons they'd finally bought this house was because it was big enough to hold lots of guests when they came and because there wasn't another house around for miles. Instead it was surrounded by a thick forest where Liei and Kurama spent a great deal of their time together doing god knows what. (not meant to imply anything above the PG rating... A just in case notice)  
  
Rei and Hiei spent some time there, but it was usually when they were practicing their Martial Arts to see who was stronger. Hence the reason many of the trees in a particular area were cracked, slashed, burned, or had fanged mouths waiting to devour the unlucky passerby, which showed Youko had been doing some experiments.  
  
"Nice isn't it? Not loud like that apartment always was." Liei asked from behind Rei, breaking her peaceful moment.  
  
Rei opened her eyes to see Liei had sat down next to her and was looking over the rose garden with a relaxed expression. Rei turned away to look at the nearby shrine and small waterfall by the rocky cliffs to the left of the house.  
  
"I take it you got them all asleep. Every one of the lil devils because I can't hear a thing."  
  
"Yeah. They're all in my room now. I told them to be quiet and good until all of them were awake. But I hope their change isn't permanent. This Mom business is gonna be the death of me..." Liei said with a slight moan.  
  
Rei smiled and glanced into the open front door.  
  
"I still hate foxes. You better keep Youko and Kurama away from me. Even if they both are cute now."  
  
"Rei, did you just use the word 'cute'?" Liei said with a sly glance towards her.  
  
"Of course not! I'd NEVER use that word!"  
  
"Well, it seems you did."  
  
"Nuh uh!"  
  
"UH HUH!"  
  
"I did NOT!"  
  
"Did too."  
  
"Why are we arguing over a word?!"  
  
"Because you said you didn't say it and you did."  
  
"I did NOT say the word 'cute'!!!"  
  
"You just said it. So ha! I win." Liei said with a smirk as she got up and walked inside.  
  
Rei sweat dropped, her eyes having become half dots.  
  
"We argue over the stupidest things..." she sighed before she jumped up and sauntered in behind Liei.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*RIIING! RIIING!*Youko glanced over at the phone with sleep blurred eyes. He got up and walked over to it. He stood on three pillows to reach it and picked it up.  
  
"Hello. This is the FBI. We would like to talk with Liei Avalon please."  
  
"Youko! Who is it on the phone?" Liei asked from the doorway. Youko glanced over at her, his golden eyes glazed with the obvious want for sleep.  
  
"It somebody who say they the F.B. something." he mumbled sleepily.  
  
"Oh." Liei said as she took the phone from Youko, who immediately flopped over against her leg and fell asleep.  
  
"Hello? This is Liei speaking."  
  
"Hello. We would like to tell you that we are holding you responsible for the strong energy signal emitted from your house."  
  
"Koenma shut up. Don't you have anyone else to bother?"  
  
"No, I don't. Well, since you caught on, good bye, and don't blow anything up... Or catch anybody or thing on fire." *CLICK*  
  
Liei gazed down at the phone for two seconds before she hung up also. She was just turning when the phone rang again. She muttered curses under her breath before she turned and picked it up.  
  
"Hello this is Buckingham Palace. I'm sorry but the queen is away right now and the king is dead, even after all these years. Please leave a message after the tone." Liei said with her best English accent. On the other end, Koenma stared down at the phone with a startled expression on his face. He coughed before he said anything.  
  
"Yes, I would like to leave a message for the queen. Tell her that-"  
  
"I'll tell you this. If you write it down on a piece of paper, drive it over here and pay me fifty dollars, I'll give it to her the next time I see her. How does that sound? Hm? HEY! IT'S NOT POLITE FOR YOU TO HANG UP ON PEOPLE KOENMA!" Liei yelled into the phone as loudly as she could without waking Youko or any of the others.  
  
Youko looked up at Liei who had just hung up the phone. She glanced down at him, sighed and picked him up to cradle him gently in her arms.  
  
"Liei, why do you say this Buckingham Palace?"  
  
"To get Koenma to hang up. Now, I need a nap too, so come on. You can sleep in my lap."  
  
Youko smiled at Liei as she carefully lay down on the opposite side of the pillow pile with Youko in her lap. She snuggled into the pillows and Youko waited for her to stop moving before he lay his head on her stomach and pulled some of her long white hair over his back. He fell asleep with an innocent smile on his face, that had he been awake and not chibi, it would have made him look predatory.  
  
Rei peered into Liei's room, seeing several of the asleep Chibis, but no Youko or Liei. She cursed under her breath and stepped in towards Kurama. She had walked only half way across the room when she was attacked several Chibis demanding their afternoon snack of milk and cookies.  
  
"LEMME GO! I'LL GIVE YOU CHOCOLATE CAKE IF YOU LEMME GO!" Rei screamed at the attacking Chibis.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Rei is great! Gave us the chocolate cake!" The words drifted through Liei's head slowly.  
  
"Liei, wake up!" Youko's little voice said urgently.  
  
Liei opened her eyes groggily, seeing two large golden eyes staring straight at her. She stared in shock at Youko for several minutes before she remembered that they had all become Chibis.  
  
"What Youko?"  
  
"Rei gave everybody chocolate cake for an afternoon snack."  
  
"WHAT?!" Liei shrieked before bolting outside the door with Youko clinging to her shoulder.  
  
Yusuke stuffed his face with a huge slice of chocolate cake smothered in frosting. Hiei was playing with the lit candles like the pyromaniac he was and the remains of a cake were resting on the well cleaned plate. Yukina's slice was thawing outside, Keiko was eating with a spoon, and Kuwabara was licking frosting off his fingers. Rei yawned and turned happily to be met with a 'slightly angered' (hmm... I wonder what the apostrophes are there for?) Liei.  
  
"Hey! You can't say they're not getting their nutrition! There are eggs in chocolate cake! And milk! That's nutrition, isn't it?!" Rei shouted in her own defense.  
  
"REI! Do you KNOW how much SUGAR is in that?!" Liei said angrily. "They'll be hyper for HOURS!"  
  
"So? We can let them play out side. They're all done anyway. Oh, where's Kurama?(I need to torture something)"  
  
"Dunno... Oh, there he is! He must've still been asleep. Kurama! Come on, we're going out side!" Liei called sweetly. Kurama came running over to her as fast as his short legs could carry him and Liei picked him up in her arms. Youko looked curiously at the still tired Kurama before he glanced up at Liei. Liei looked down at him and chuckled.  
  
"I hope you two decide to become one person again... I don't think I could handle two chibi kitsunes running around here." Liei said kindly.  
  
Yusuke dashed across the grass away from Kuwabara who was struggling to walk after him in grass that went up to his waist. Yukina, Botan and Keiko were giggling under a small bush and talking about something. Hiei was walking on the rocks next to the pool under the waterfall and Youko had vanished into the rose garden. Liei was cuddling the little Kurama against her chest affectionately while Rei watched.  
  
"Liei, maybe you should be a mother. By the way you treat and protect these devils you'd be an incredible parent." Rei said, actually being serious for once. Liei looked down from the shady tree branch she was perched on.  
  
"Rei, you weren't being sarcastic about that would you?"  
  
"Nope. Just look at you with Kurama. You're acting like you're his mother. The same with Youko. You have been since 11:30 this morning!"  
  
"Rei, I'm just being nice that's all. And I haven't been doing this for very long you know. God I hope nobody hears that all the Reikai Tantei have been turned into Chibis ..." Liei said softly.  
  
"By gawd! The rumors are true!" a voice with a strong Irish accent called from the other end of the clearing. Rei and Liei turned to see Jin and Touya standing in the shade from the forest. Rei grinned and stood up.  
  
"Jin! Long time since I last saw you!" she called joyfully. Jin smiled, his ears perking up slightly. Touya however, didn't seem quite as thrilled with Rei as he was with the Chibis. He walked over to Liei's tree and jumped onto her branch to look at Kurama.  
  
"So this is the one who beat me... Not too much of a challenge now is he?" he said smugly, reaching toward Kurama.  
  
"Um, Touya, you might not want to-"  
  
*WHACK* Touya fell to the ground unconscious, a large lump on his head. Liei looked down at him angrily, still clenching her fist in midair. Kurama yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Jin poked Touya several times before he agreed that he was out cold and would stay that way for a while. Liei smirked happily and stuck her tongue out at Touya.  
  
"He may not be much of a threat, but you should make sure the person that's guarding him isn't either." Liei said, still smirking. She jumped out of the tree and went inside, humming a tune Rei could've sworn she'd heard in a Disney movie. Chibi Kurama followed carrying a tennis ball, which on the way in, got ceremoniously dropped into one of Rei's sneakers by the door.  
  
"Rei, is she always like this?" Jin asked when Liei was out of earshot.  
  
"Depends on if she doesn't like you or hates you. That makes a big difference."  
  
"Aren't they the same thing?"  
  
"Apparently, not to Liei." Rei replied. She sighed and turned around. "DEVILS! It's time to go inside!"  
  
All the Chibis ran past Rei and Jin, up the stairs and in the front door. Rei turned back to Jin to see that now he was also one of the 'devils'. Jin looked up at her.  
  
"Rei, have you always been so tall?" he asked in a little Irish kid voice. Rei smiled and picked him up. "Wha-? Hey! Where are you taking me!?"  
  
"To the nap room. You need your afternoon nap."  
  
"I wanna snack!"  
  
"What kind of snack? Doritos and ice cream? That's the nutrition a growing youkai needs!"  
  
"Rei, why is Hiei drinking all of your hot chocolate?"  
  
"HIEI!!! DROP THE HOT CHOCOLATE! BACK AWAY FROM THE HOT CHOCOLATE!" Rei shouted as she charged towards Chibi Hiei, who was perched on a chair, gulping down his fourth mug of the sacred hot chocolate.  
  
Hiei looked up and his blood red eyes bugged slightly. He sprang from the chair and darted off at top speed, becoming a little black blur that shot up the stairs to the security of Liei's room. Rei followed until she was out of sight. Liei and the rest of the Chibis waited downstairs.  
  
"Liei-sama, what do you think-"  
  
"Shhh! Yusuke-chan, listen!"  
  
They all nearly stopped breathing, Youko holding his short fuzzy tail in his arms. *WHAM!* The sound reverberated through the entire household, shaking the ceiling fan in the kitchen which caused dust to spray from the base. Chibi Youko and Jin winced at the sound, thinking they might have just heard the popping of bones coming out of their correct places.  
  
"Was that Rei hitting the bedroom door, Liei?" all the Chibis questioned at once.  
  
"No, I think it might have been an antelope and an elephant, both hitting my door as they discovered it was locked. Let's go check on Rei and Hiei-chan, shall we?"  
  
Rei groaned and sat up. She was laying on her bed and something was next to her on the pillow. She glanced over, the world still spinning, and saw Jin sleeping there with his thumb in his mouth and ears perked. She shook him and he opened his before launching his self onto her shoulder.  
  
" I 'ot Rei's shoul'er! Ha! 'old ya so 'iei!"(1) he cried triumphantly. Hiei poked his head up over the side of the bed and frowned. He jumped up onto the bed and bounced across the covers, leaving small muddy footprints on the fabric. Rei winced.  
  
'Liei will have not only his head, but mine on stakes because of that... She might even make me do the laundry! Oh, gods no! Anything but that!' she thought frantically.  
  
"I get Rei's shoul'er!"  
  
"No! I get Rei's shoulder!" Hiei shouted back, poking Jin's chest, pressing his nose against Jin's.  
  
"I do!"  
  
"I do!" Hiei yelled back into Jin's face. The two glared then backed away, before launching themselves at each other. Rei only saw the two waving their hands timidly at each other but Hiei ended it suddenly by sinking his fangs into Jin's hands. Jin's eyes popped and he started to bawl.  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he bawled at the top of his lungs, making Rei's sensitive ears throb in agony. She slapped a hand over his mouth, then punched Hiei upside the head to shut him up. She lifted them both up and set them on her shoulders and they settled themselves, still shooting daggers at each other.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Youko toddled through the garden in a daze. All these roses, trees and shrubs... He thought he must have died and gone to Reikai-youkai- special-kitusne-area-heaven. He stopped and plucked a rose from a bush. He glanced up, an evil gleam in his large eyes.  
  
Liei slipped out the door, none of the Chibis following, to her absolute astonishment. It was nearly dusk, and Rei had come downstairs an hour ago with Jin, his hands wrapped in bandages, and Hiei, massaging a large black spot on his cheek, on her shoulders, smiling despite the fact she was wearing pink fuzzy earmuffs. She needed to find Youko before the sun went down. It was dangerously close to setting now and she didn't want the little kitsune discovering what he could do if the full moon was up.  
  
Liei ambled down the front steps, glancing occasionally toward the under brush in the forest for a splash of white. She sighed and continued down toward the garden when she froze. She'd found Youko all right, but he seemed to have tested his youki on her precious plants. There were roses winding about the garden, looking for an unfortunate mouse to stumble across their creeper's paths.  
  
The previously peaceful sakura trees were now snapping like Venus fly traps at bugs, and the rest of the garden looked like a tornado had come through. There was Youko, sleeping peacefully in the middle of the destruction, clutching an unaltered rose to his chest. Liei felt her anger bubbling up. To heck if he was just a little kid! He was officially dead now!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei looked up from the couch and the frolicking Chibis playing with the tennis ball they'd fished out of her sneaker, nearly losing two of their troops in the process because of the smell, even through clothes pins. Youko had just catapulted through the door and looked horrified. He leapt at Rei and hid his self behind her. He was shivering uncontrollably and Rei rubbed his ears, trying to hold her homicidal instinct back for later. He relaxed and quieted his sniffles. Then Liei burst through the door.  
  
Even Rei was scared. Liei looked more homicidal than she had ever looked for as long as Rei could remember, which was a heck of a long time. She searched the room and saw Youko cowering behind Rei. Rei caught that glare and almost heard the words it shrieked. That fox is as good AS DEAD.  
  
Youko eeped and ran out of the room, along with the entire pack of Chibis. Liei calmed down about 30 minutes later after she'd plopped into a squishy armchair and stared at the wall intensely. Rei was about to question why Liei was so angry when she heard a crash from the storage room next door. She leapt up, holding Liei back as she raced through the door. Now she understood Liei's anger toward Youko, but she felt it toward a short, black haired boy.  
  
Liei gazed at the hole she'd noticed in the wall. There was a tennis ball stuck there, and she had a feeling she didn't want to know how it'd gotten stuck there in the first place. Hiei came out of the storage room door as a black blur and dove behind Liei. Rei crashed through the door and tore Hiei out from behind her silver haired friend. She held him up by his collar, giving him her worst death glare ever.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Outside, the sun was sinking below the horizon and a strange brown haired youkai chuckled at the scene in the crystal ball before him. Rei had been chained down to a chair, and he could tell Liei was trying desperately not to set the little Youko on fire. He leant back, his handsome face illuminated by the dying sunlight.  
  
He looked down again and saw the Chibis were standing well away from the two pissed off girls. They looked as if they would kill the first thing that came within 10 feet of them. He waved his hand over the crystal and it glowed purple in response, the opposite of the hot pink it had turned earlier. His fun was over... for now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Chibis had huddled into a corner when a peculiar purple light enveloped them. Liei and Rei happened to set the chains binding them to their seats on fire, but remained there, only brushing off the ashes. The Chibis were now staggering away from each other, their heads feeling they were about to explode from the pressure filling their tiny bodies. Then as quickly as it started, it was over and they stood back to normal in the corner, not remembering a thing that had happened. Thankfully, Youko and Kurama had become one person again, so Liei didn't have to put up with two grown up kitsunes around the house.  
  
The now fully grown Hiei and Youko glanced over at the two girls, who had steam rising off their heads in pent up anger and frustration. Jin was staring at the bandages in confusion, and Hiei had resumed rubbing his bruise from Rei's fist. Youko spied Liei's aura and saw that it was filled with loathing over something. Hiei happened to see Youko gazing at Liei in shock and decided to check out Rei's aura. He found hers was no better, but twenty times worse then Liei's.  
  
The two curious youkai walked in front of the two girls, and found themselves faced with awful death glares. Soon the rest of the group were standing behind them, wincing if either Rei or Liei's eyes made contact with them. Youko and Hiei finally worked up enormous amounts of courage and reached toward their wife, Youko to Liei and Hiei to Rei. The two girls stood and the two boys noticed the flames dancing along their Kokoryuu- haa's. Youko, Hiei and the others backed away as the black flames grew brighter.  
  
"If you take one step closer we fry ALL of you to freakin' crisps!" the two yelled, their hands clenching into fists almost at the same exact moment. Yusuke looked over at Youko and Hiei, who had backed away warily.  
  
"DAAAAAAAAAANG! You guys must' ve really ticked them off!"  
  
End.  
  
I felt like doing something funny, so here it is. I wanted to do something to torture my friend and I's chara, but it ended up a tad too long. Jin Translations (for where ever I use his Irishness)  
  
Ok, because I had somebody ask me to do this, I'll now post translations for whatever Jin says if it's absolutely incomprehensible. Numbers in the story next to Jin's talking tell you to find this at the end and use it.  
  
1) I got Rei's shoulder! Ha! Told ya so Hiei! 


	2. The One Chibi Army

The Attack of the Chibis  
  
The Long Awaited Chapter 2  
  
by lieiavalon2044, who didn't update this story for so long because she ran out of funny ideas because she used them all in her last chapter and in her other stories.  
  
Disclaimers for the last chappie so people do not yell at me. And they're rather interesting, so read them anyway even if you don't want to! Or suffer my WRATH!  
  
-Hiei: Oh god. You're scary enough when you're not angry.  
  
-LieiAvalon: OH! THAT'S IT! I'M DELETING YOU! AND THAT'S REI THAT'S SCARY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUKO RUN AWAY SCREAMING FOR HIS MOMMY!  
  
-Hiei: Rei, remember that she said it and I didn't.  
  
-LieiAvalon: Hiei! Am I going to have to show her this incriminating evidence!? **holds up a picture of Hiei dressed in a frilly pink tutu with big butterfly wings on the back and he's waving around a little star shaped sparkly wand**  
  
-Hiei: **eyes widen in horror** How... I WAS BARELY EVEN TWO IN THAT PICTURE! AND HOW IS THAT INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE?!  
  
Well, ahem, yes now that that's finished, here are the disclaimers.  
  
*The FBI belongs strictly to the FBI. I do not own the FBI.  
*Hot Chocolate belongs to whoever invented hot chocolate, and I would practically worship that person if they were still alive today.  
*Buckingham Palace belongs to, uh... Whoever owns Buckingham Palace. That'd be the Queen.  
*The message that Liei gave Koenma on the phone is from Calvin and Hobbes, but slightly adapted to fit this story.  
*The chocolate cake idea? Yes, I did get that from a video of a comedian, can't remember which one, but he's hilarious.  
*Jin belongs to Ireland. Touya belongs to Greenland, which belongs to Denmark. So I guess he belongs to Denmark.  
*Disney belongs to Disney. And so do their songs. Most of their songs stink anyways... Some good movies though...  
* The tennis ball belongs to my next door neighbor. I rescued it from their dog.  
*Doritos belong to the people who own the company in charge of making Doritos. Frito Lay... Right?  
*That brown haired youkai dude? I'll let you know, his name is Tanaka, and he's MINE! So is Liei. Rei is a friend's character.  
*The Kokoryuu-haa? That belongs to the maker of YuYu Hakusho, as do Jin, (but I like Ireland better) Touya, Kurama, Youko Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, and Botan ... Oh, and Koenma ...  
  
As you can tell, I wasn't in the mood to remember stuff when I made the disclaimers. Some of them are true, in fact, most of them are true, but I just put them there because I needed a laugh. Don't kill me because this took so long. I had school.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei knelt down, piecing the many scattered CD's back together piece by piece and strip of tape by strip of tape.  
  
"Darn kid... I am never gonna have one... NEVER EVER EVER IN THREE BILLION YEARS!!! It might be exactly like Hiei!" she muttered, ignoring the tennis ball (which still smelled faintly of shoe innards) that bumped into her foot... Until she asked.  
  
"Rei-sama, may I have my ball?"  
  
Rei froze, the horror turning all her blood cells into little horrified cells whose own cells were horrified and it went on and on and on... You get the picture. Lots of horrified blood cells. Whoopie... *waves a little flag in the air*  
  
'Oh please say that that's not who I think it is... Let the nightmare have ended... I couldn't stand it if the person I think that is has been chibified...' Rei thought, her eyes huge and fixated on the broken CD cabinet. Then she finally got the nerve to look... And became absolutely beyond absolutely horrified.  
  
"KYA~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Hiei jumped up from his chair and stared at the storage room door, which was still closed. Kurama and the others were staring too, rather stunned at the unexpected scream which had dragged them out of their thinking. This was a really difficult game of poker.  
  
Well, actually what they were thinking about was what they'd managed to drag out of Rei as to what had happened from morning until night. As for information as to how they'd become chibis in the first place... Nada. Really what they didn't understand was why she was screaming now. There were no chibis to attempt murdering her, so what was she screaming about?  
  
Their answer came very quickly in the shape of a furious Rei who had practically killed the door when she'd flung it open. She now stood directly in front of Hiei, who winced and reached for a pillow, but found that there were none within his reach to cover his eyes with. Then Rei held up something that made them all gape in horror, Yukina to scream and Botan actually passed out.  
  
"Liei ... when... how?" Hiei managed, looking at Chibi Liei with her short blue hair, and very coppery eyes which were as innocent as they could possibly be.  
  
"Hi I'm Liei. I'm only 4 and a half years old. Who are YOU?" the girl chirped, smiling widely. Then she stared at Hiei.  
  
"ANTI GRAVITY HAIR!!!" she screamed in delight, launching herself toward Hiei's head.  
  
"SHE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!" Yukina screamed, snatching the little youkai out of midair and embracing her in a rib shattering hug.  
  
"Need... Air.... Turning... I... I think I'm gonna blow chunks!!!" Liei gasped, turning almost as blue as her hair. Yukina stopped hugging her and held her up to look at the cute lil kid again and broke down.  
  
"SHE'S ABSOLUTELY THE SWEETEST LITTLE YOUKAI EVER TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!" Yukina declared, dancing around happily, oblivious that Liei had just unintentionally broken the record for longest holding of breath in the world and had turned a beautiful shappirey color.  
  
Kurama continued staring at Liei. This had to be the worst moment of his life.  
  
"This can not POSSIBLY be happening..." he moaned, banging his head on the table. Everyone stared at him. They couldn't understand why Liei being a chibi would be so bad. She'd always been the calmest, quietest one of them. But they had only known her for a little while now, just over a year or so. In fact, Liei hadn't ever talked about her past much and neither had Rei.  
  
"I can't see why this is going to be so bad Kurama ..." Botan chirped reassuringly. "Liei's the sweetest angel of all of us!"  
  
Liei looked at all the adults. She didn't care what they were talking about, so she made sure that her yawn was enormously large. It didn't work. She yawned again, this time letting her sharp baby youkai fangs glint in the light. Still no attention.  
  
'Extreme boredom calls for extreme measures...' she thought, fixing her sight on the chandelier hanging precariously above the CD cabinet in the living room.  
  
"Burn..." she said softly, watching as a small spark appeared on top of one of the candles. Then she waited. Nobody was even stopping their conversation. She groaned. She'd be stuck here, turning bright shades of blue all night. Then...  
  
"Hey, is it just me or does anyone smell smoke?" Rei asked, looking towards the kitchen, where Yusuke was making his special recipe for instant noodles, but it wasn't on fire yet. She glanced elsewhere and let out a shriek.  
  
"MY CD CABINET!" she yelled, racing over to the now generously smoking cabinet. Liei giggled devilishly.  
  
"Oopsie daisy. My bad..." she said through giggles. Kuwabara stared at the miniature youkai, giggling over Rei's many, "OWCH! &%^$#)&%&$#^%* FIRE! YOU'RE NOT %(&#w%(@%& ALLOWED TO BURN ME! THAT'S AN ORDER, YA HEAR?!". Kuwabara backed away nervously.  
  
"Uh, guys? I think... I think she's... Evil..." he mumbled slowly, letting the full stupidity of the statement show very obviously.  
  
Hiei smirked and pulled Liei out of Yukina's arms. He held her up level to his face, letting his ruby eyes delve into hers, which caused the little youkai to shiver uncontrollably.  
  
"Like fire kid?" he asked, a smile starting to form on his face. Liei nodded happily, trying to jump up and down, but couldn't do that good a job of it.  
  
Hiei looked over at the others, grinning evilly, looking as smug as ever.  
  
"I say we get a babysitter." he said calmly, walking toward the door, picking up an envelope on the way.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mukuro cursed again. It was so boring here. Nothing to do at all. Not even criticize her heir, who was conveniently, absent. A demon ran up, holding an envelope which was slightly singed and halfway frozen.  
  
"It's from Hiei, er, Lady Mukuro?" the demon questioned warily, holding the envelope like it would burst into flames or freeze him into a demoncicle. Mukuro hastily snatched away the letter and tore it open, ripping the contained paper in the process. It didn't say much, just a couple of numbers and words.  
  
~ Come to the Ningenkai~ You'll know where~ Before 12:00 am would be GREATLY appreciated not that all of us have brains to appreciate with.~  
  
Mukuro shrugged. What the heck. It's not like she had anything better to do.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I'm HUNGRY! I'm THIRSTY! I wanna play!" Liei whined. They all heard her, but made no attempt at all to pay attention. They had all managed to lock her out of her own room and now were thinking of it as a safe haven from the little terror.  
  
The chandelier and CD cabinet hadn't been her only prey, but Hiei's hair, the couch, Botan's oar and other various objects had either been set on fire, frozen solid, or cut into tiny bits. Not to mention that Liei had decided Kuwabara's cat looked edible and decided to take a bite. Neither being won, Liei having been scratched and fur stuck in her mouth while the cat had fang marks in it's shoulder. But nothing serious. Just some band- aids, for the one who tried washing the cat... and whoever the unfortunate soul was that tended Liei's scratches...(Rei)  
  
And to ensure their safety they'd gotten Touya to freeze Liei's bedroom door shut and Botan to put spirit wards on it to make sure she couldn't get in. Jin was relaxed, having a pillow fight, but it was one sided, his opponent too fast to hit with a soft cushy thing stuffed with foam or feathers. Even if he did it was instantly torn in half and feathers or foam made their way around the room, landing in creative places such as;  
  
In Hiei's hair, the VCR, Rei's mouth (accompanied by much spluttering), Puu's fuzzy head, Yusuke's eye (MOMMY! GET IT OUT!), Kuwabara's toe (IT'S EATING ME URAMESHII!!!) and a piece of foam somehow impaled itself on Jin's horn. A feather also went down Kurama's shirt, causing several strange expressions to flit across his face until he finally fished it out. Botan was brushing them off her oar (which was badly singed and nicked to the point of falling apart) when they all heard a loud *DING DONG!* come from downstairs.  
  
They all went silent.  
  
*Please note that the following is in hushed voices so as the blue haired devil will not attempt to attack them through the door.  
  
"Is... Is she gone?"  
  
"Peek out and see Yusuke ..."  
  
"Why should I? I didn't even ask the question! Make Kuwabara!"  
  
"But Liei-chan is so adorable as a little kid... Can't we let her in?"  
  
"Yukina, no."  
  
"I don't see how you can still find her cute when she nearly gave us all heart attacks..."  
  
"Shut up Hiei! I think she's answering the door!"  
  
(Voices from Downstairs)  
  
"HI! My name's Liei! I'm only four and a half years old! Who are YOUUUU!?"  
  
"Um... I'm Mukuro ... I was asked to come here and..."  
  
"WHERE"S YOUR FACE?!"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You're missing half your face!"  
  
"You shouldn't be so rude! Come here runt!"  
  
"Nah nah nah nah nah! You can't catc--- WAHHHH!!!! YOU HIT MY WITTLE NOSE!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING RUNT!!!"  
  
"Hey... I know who you must be!"  
  
"Yes! I'm MU-KU-RO! Get that!? MUKURO!!!"  
  
"No! I know you're Mukuro Non-Pretty-Lady, but all the nice adults locked their selves upstairs and won't come out. You must be my babysitter!"  
  
"A what?"  
  
"You know, a babysitter! I want ice cream! I wanna Snicker's pound cake! With extra chocolate! I wanna go to the fair! I wanna fly a kite! I wanna blow stuff up and make someone's brownie go KA-BLEWIE out their nose and make them need to go to the loo!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Upstairs, the adults weren't listening to the conversation anymore, but had decided to run out the window while the devil was detracted.  
  
"Hey, Hiei, what will Mukuro do if she finds out this was all just a trick?" Yusuke asked as the climbed down the side of the house to creep out into the forest where they would hopefully not be noticed.  
  
"Hn ..."  
  
"Oh no. He's doing it again Rei!"  
  
"Aw... Why are you all leaving so soon?" a cool voice whined from a nearby window sill. They all jerked their heads simultaneously in that direction. They saw a youkai maybe around Shuuichi's height, but with brown hair, dark blue eyes and black robes which reminded them strangely of Youko's clothing.  
  
"Who... Are you?" Kuwabara asked, looking (you'll never expect this!) confused.  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Who else?" Hiei spat, trying not to spit on Yukina who happened to be climbing down the wall below him.  
  
"Oh, naughty little Youkai ... No respect for your elders..." the strange man chuckled, suffering a punch to the jaw two seconds later.  
  
(Hiei must be getting slow. Once you hit double digits, everything starts to go downhill.)  
  
(Hiei: I'm not that old!  
  
Youko: You're under double digits?! And you're married to Rei?!  
  
Hiei: I'M NOT UNDER DOUBLE DIGITS! BUT YOU DON'T EXACTLY HAVE BRAGGING RIGHTS SAYING THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY A THOUSAND YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR WIFE!)  
  
"I'm NOT little!" Hiei growled, watching as the youkai rubbed his jaw, muttering things under his breath. The youkai finally stood, all the group now standing around him, except for the girls who stood back, whispering and giggling. Except for Rei, who was standing next to Hiei on the ground.  
  
"Well, since I'm apparently required to tell you who I am, my name is Tanaka."  
  
Rei suddenly broke into laughter. Everyone stared.  
  
"Oh no..." they heard Tanaka whisper, backing warily away from the insanely laughing Rei. "I recognize that laugh..."  
  
Hiei and the others stared. Apparently this Tanaka had met Rei, or heard her evil insane laugh that she practiced every day. Then Rei fell over, shaking so hard they couldn't tell if she was having a seizure or not.  
  
"It's... it's... you! You... were... that kid..." Rei said through snickers. They all turned to see that Tanaka was steadily turning deeper shades of red. Rei finally sat up and pointed at the blushing youkai, who was pleading with her with his now wide dark eyes.  
  
"YOU WERE THE KID ALWAYS HITTING ON LIEI AND YOU ALWAYS FELL INTO MUD OR HORSE MANURE!" she shouting, laughing insanely. Tanaka cringed and covered his ears.  
  
"It wasn't me... It never happened... This can't be happening... Why couldn't I have made them stay chibi for longer?" he said, hitting him self the next second.  
  
"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MADE US CHIBIS?!" all of the Tantei roared, hitting the unfortunate youkai at once.  
  
"Uh... Oops..." they all said, looking at the now bruised, bloodied and unconscious Tanaka.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Liei jumped back and forth, making sure to keep the frustrated Mukuro right behind. She didn't want her fun ruined yet. Yes she was having fun annoying the heck out of Mukuro and jumping on couches and tables. She'd have to ask the nice grown-ups to get this babysitter again!  
  
"Darn.... brat.... Get.... back... here..." Mukuro muttered before falling over. "Yomi ... You better come now... Darn... Blind guy... So slow at everything..."  
  
"OOOOHHH!!! WHO ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!?"  
  
"Me? I'm Yomi, one of the Makai Rulers."  
  
"HI YOMI! MY NAME IS LIEI! I'M ONLY FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD! Why do you have horns Mr. Yomi?"  
  
"Well Liei, I'll tell you just be a little quieter."  
  
"Ok Yomi-sama!!!" Liei said, jumping onto the tall blind youkai's shoulder. He couldn't see Mukuro passed out on the floor (then again, she wasn't passed out, just muttering every curse in every world at him) but he could hear that she was there, her breathing heavy and her heart beating quickly. About time a little kid shut her up.  
  
"Well Liei ... Wait, what time is it?"  
  
"Really late."  
  
" I say you might need a nap by now. Why don't I take you up to your room so you can rest?"  
  
"Ok Yomi-sama!" Liei chirped, dragging the much taller and stronger youkai up the stairs. But he was a good sport and allowed him self to be dragged to a closed door.  
  
"They won't open it."  
  
"Well, stand back and let me open it for you. If you sleep for thirty minutes afterward, I'll take you back to the Makai for awhile."  
  
"Yes Yomi-sama!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The others stood, dumbfounded, at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Did... Liei just do what I think she did?"  
  
"Yeah... She dumped Kurama ..."  
  
"NO YUSUKE! She LISTENED TO SOMEONE! AND SHE LISTENED TO YOMI TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!"  
  
"Why's listening to Yomi so bad? Yomi's a nice guy! He taught me how to play chess." Kurama said, tossing the (still) unconscious and bruised and bloodied Tanaka onto a couch, or something like it at least. Just not as comfortable to land on when wooden table and drink coasters impale your back.  
  
"Yay... Sheh listen'd 'oo a 'uy 'or more s'unnin' news..." (1) Jin said, tugging at a piece of foam still stuck on his horn.  
  
"Yes. In truth she did..." Touya said, gaping, his sharp pointy little fangs showing.  
  
(He's mean and he'll bite off your head!)  
  
(Touya: I'm a perfectly nice guy! It's not my fault all the other *^%)#*&^%*&^(%*&# mean people made me seem mean at the Dark Tournament!  
  
Rei: At least you aren't related to me...  
  
Yukina: *enters room* COUSIN TOUYA!  
  
** You can guess what happens next. Aren't you smart! You guessed that Rei and Hiei would collapse, Kuwabara would scream that he'd be related to a guy with green hair by marrying Yukina, who, now that he thinks about it, has teal hair! Kurama would probably start reasoning that such a thing isn't possible and... It goes on. Oh, but I can't skip the part where Rei and Hiei wake up sleeping next to each other on the couch! I'll let you decide what happens next there! (HINT: Involves crowbars and baseball bats.) ^^ I'm EVIL!**)  
  
Yomi came walking quietly down the stairs and, despite the fact that his eyes were closed like always, he looked satisfied. He was instantly mobbed.  
  
"HOW'D YOU DO IT! YOU HAVE TO TELL US! THE SAKE OF OUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON IT!" they all begged, Jin and Hiei begging the loudest. Mukuro muttered something in her sleep that made all of them stop and Hiei blushed deeply.  
  
"Mmmmmmmmm... Hiei ... So nice... So KAWAII!!!" Mukuro said smiling in her sleep, hugging a pillow which was apparently playing the role of Hiei. Yusuke turned to Hiei, smiling evilly.  
  
"Please don't say it Yusuke ..."  
  
"Hiei, ?(I can't do upside down question marks..) te gusta Mukuro?"  
  
"Oh... kami ... Yusuke knows Spanish! Well, Hiei aren't you going to answer the question? Te gusta Mukuro?" Rei asked, leaning in close to Hiei who glanced frantically at Kurama.  
  
"I can't help you Hiei. I know French, not Spanish." Kurama said. Then he smiled evilly and leaned against the wall casually. "So Hiei ... Te gusta Mukuro?"  
  
to be continued  
  
I know it's not as funny as the last chapter, but... It's because of school. It drains my mind away. All my good stuff was written or drawn during summer,when my mind wasn't restricted by teachers and homework! Oh, and if you have a character of your own or a line challenge for me, lemme know in a review!!!  
  
*** In case you don't bother reading the stuff above this, review please and leave a line challenge if you have one. Thank you. And the question they keep asking Hiei is (I think cause I haven't looked at my Spanish for a little while) "Hiei, do you like Mukuro?"  
  
I wanna see how I make Rei react to it if he says yes cause he has absolutely no clue what they're saying.  
  
Jin Translations  
  
Doo dee doo... Ok, on with the translations...  
  
1)Yeah...She listened to a guy for more stunning news... 


End file.
